Ready For Marriage? 11 Questions to Ask Yourself Before the Wedding Read more: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/ready-for-marriage-11-qu

By Cori Russell

A newly engaged woman certainly has a lot on her wedding planning checklist: Floral schemes? Check. Fabric swatches? Check. Vegan menu options? Uh..check. Emotionally prepared for wedding and marriage?..........Uh, am I?

Engagement and marriage is one of the most significant psychological transitions in our lives, packed with an assortment of tangled feelings. An engaged woman must face these internal details if she ever hopes to arrive at the altar psychologically prepared to say "I Do." But instead, the "essential" details of planning a wedding monopolize the thoughts of even the most consciously aware brides. So let's tear ourselves away from the 5th revision of the seating chart for a moment to ponder just what it means to get married and emotionally prepare for a wedding. Bring your focus back to the real you, and ask yourself these introspective questions before the big day.

To Prepare Emotionally for Your Wedding Day - Ask Yourself:

1. How do you plan to cope with the added stress that comes with planning a wedding?

Your to-list doubles the moment he pops the question, so some added stress is to be expected. Take a deep breath, and mentally prepare for the whirlwind that's to ensue. As you do this, tell yourself that a little added stress is ok - but losing sight of what's really important is not.

2. Who will be in your wedding party?

Choosing the women who will surround you on your wedding day is one of the most important wedding-related decisions you will make. This milestone marks a profound personal transformation, and the women by your side on your wedding day should calm and sooth.

3. How can your loved ones best support you throughout your engagement and on your wedding day?

What type or level of support will you rely on during this transitional phase? Will you need help with wedding planning details, or are you looking more for support on an emotional level. After you have explored your wishes, you should share them with those around you.

4. What are you happiest about when you think of your wedding day?

How can you make the most of this excitement and revel in it?

5. What is your biggest fear when you think of your wedding day?

How do you plan to cope with any wedding day jitters or potential mishaps?

6. How do you want to feel on your wedding day?

In such an overly stimulating environment, many brides report having to be perpetually "on" during their wedding, instead of being themselves in the moment. What are your expectations for how you will feel as a bride? How will you deal if the reality differs from these expectations?

Now Dig Deeper - To Prepare for Marriage - Ask Yourself:

7. Why are you getting married?

It's natural to get swept away in the excitement of getting engaged. But before hopping on the wedding planning fast train, take some time for a gut check and evaluate the reasons behind your engagement. Are you really in love with your fiancé? Marriage for any reason other than love - such as a ticking biological clock, financial security, family appeasement, or to avoid being the last lone single in your social circle - is a bad idea.

8. Do you stand to lose more than you gain?

Look at the cost of your current relationship and potential marriage. If you have to sever ties with friends and family or give up a flourishing career, for example, the cost is too high. Once the idea of being married wears off, reality - and resentment - will set in, and your frustration will grow like a cancer to your marriage.

9. How do you see your personal relationships changing after marriage?

Be prepared for marriage to impact the key relationships in your life. It's natural for your relationship with your parents, your friends and your fiancé to evolve with your engagement and throughout your marriage. Determine your expectations, and discuss them with others.

10. How do you see your role as a wife?

Your identity will inevitably change after you get married. How will you transition from the role of girlfriend to the role of wife? How do you see yourself fulfilling your new role(s) as a wife? a professional? a mother?

11. How do you feel about changing/keeping your last name?

Many engaged women struggle with the notion of the impending name change. How do you really feel? If you take his name, what are the implications for your identity? If you decide to keep your maiden name - or some combination of both - what are the potential ramifications? If you're grappling with this issue, our advice on whether to take his last name or keep your maiden name may help you make a decision.

Still not completely sure if you and your fiance are meant to be? Take this marriage compatibility test to find out.

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Please be sure to check out our sister sites for more great wedding advice. Fun Weddings and Merry Brides

The Bridezilla Syndrome: Do You Have It?

In a fast-paced world of wedding planning, stress levels are high; immune systems are low; and over the course of the past 20 years, brides have transmitted, what has become a bridal epidemic of our time.

The number of victims has steadily increased; and to date, there is no cure. It's been dubbed various clinical names: Multiple Personality Disorder, Schizophrenia, Temporary Insanity. But in the world of matrimony, anyone who's been exposed - fiancés, family, friends, and victims themselves - this broadening illness has been commonly termed "Bridezilla Syndrome" or "BS."

A contagious condition, BS has become more prominent and has plagued today's busy, wedding-planning woman. In a preliminary study, the disease has spread at an alarming rate. Symptoms of victims of BS - better known as Bridezillas - include reoccurring mood spells, bouts with selfishness, signs of controlling behavior and feelings of meticulousness.

Unfortunately fiancés, bridal party members, friends and family eventually fall victim to the actions and attitudes of a Bridezilla.

Research suggests that symptoms are recognized most often by the fiancé and Maid of Honor, and are completely undetectable by the actual victim. In some cases, a bridal party member, who having had too much alcohol to drink, confronted the Bridezilla. Most often, an emotional, breakdown of the victim would follow, thus intensifying her condition. In a survey of 100 Maids of Honor, an alarming 85% said they avoided confrontation with the victim for fear it would only exasperate the illness.

So we must ask the underlying questions: Where is all this BS coming from? How does one know when she's full of it? Unfortunately the source has not been found; though it is believed that it has existed since the dawn of the institution of marriage. A short-term condition (symptoms persist about 1-2 years depending on one's wedding date), Bridezillas seem to have been unfairly blamed for their actions, for which some believe they have no control, albeit their control over everything else. In fact, it's been clinically proven that a Bridezilla actually does have feelings - feelings of selfishness, insecurity, anxiousness and stress!

Though it's been said there is no cure, there are ways to prevent infection of BS. A survey of healthy brides, whom successfully planned their weddings without contracting the disease, was conducted. Results showed commonalities of the actions performed to avoid the disorder. Doctors, psychologists and wedding planners strongly suggest the following preventative therapy:

1. Keep Perspective - remind yourself that the wedding is only one day in your life. When things get out of control, close your eyes and remember the reason why you are planning this wedding in the first place.

2. Don't Assume Your Groom Doesn't Want to Help - ask him what he'd like to take responsibility for; and then let him. (note: some grooms may follow the cliché and decline this offer.)

3. Know That You Can't Control Everything - realize this and accept it!

4 Delegate. Delegate. Delegate - If you act like you can handle everything, people will let you. Spread the duties.

5. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - people won't remember whether or not your invitations had those cute little tissues enclosed.

6. Treat The People You Cherish with Love - the wedding is one day; your family and friends are forever.

7. Allow Others to Vent - give your fiancé, family and bridesmaids permission to tell you when you're going off the deep-end.

8. Take the Heat - give yourself permission to hear them.

9. Do Something for Yourself Every Day - the catch is that it must not involve the wedding.

10. No Wedding Talk After 10pm.

Although preventative therapy is available, some brides inherently fall victim and still contract BS. But there is hope! This is not a terminal illness. In fact in most cases, the bride has been known to be miraculously cured once she has returned from her honeymoon. Doctors and psychologists theorize that the change in altitude from flying coupled with excessive levels of the love hormone, Oxytocin counteracts the disease by boosting the immune system, thus eliminating symptoms.

In cases of remission, the disease has been known to resurface when a person, under certain circumstances, may be planning her wedding again. According to research, those brides with a higher IQ score avoided the reoccurrence of symptoms by simply eloping.

Whatever your situation, whether a Bridezilla, fiancé, friend or family member of one -- join in the fight! With love, hope and education, our brides of the future and their bridal parties will have a winning chance against all the BS!

Product Recommendation:

THE PERFECT WEDDING BEGINS WITH INSPIRATION!

Romantic, humorous, touching and true. This books brings to light the true meaning of love and commitment, whether you are newly engaged, recently married or reflecting on the years of married bliss. Makes the perfect bridal shower gift!

Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul (Click Here)

About the Author

Gina Romanello, author of Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul. Noticing many friends and family members endure the stress of planning a wedding, Gina saw a need for Chicken Soup for the Bride's Soul, a Chicken Soup title sure to comfort and enlighten a stressed-out bride planning her big day. Visit Gina's website Article Source: http://ezinearticles.com/Footnote: Preventative Therapy of BridezillaSyndrome provided by http://www.weddingquestions.com/

Additional Wedding Planning Reading:

http://merrybrides.liveournal.com

http://weddingsbyashlee.blogspot.com

http://funweddings.blogspot.com

http://merrybrides.blogspot.com

Planning Barbie's Wedding Wasn't This Stressful!

By Ciara Daykin

The more you dive into planning your perfect wedding the faster and faster time seems to be flying by. Before you know it you'll be making your grand entrance and then at the blink of an eye the wedding cake will be merely a pile of crumbs on your plate, and the shoes you shopped painstakingly for will be tossed in a box.

Your wedding day is THE DAY that means so much to you. You have so many emotions surrounding this event... love, excitement, joy, jitters, elation. Are you confused? Feeling overwhelmed?

Bridal Blues

Brides often experience post wedding blues. It's hard to explain the feeling but it definitely comes. I know I got it after my wedding was over. But it didn't mean I wasn't absolutely thrilled to be married, I was just sad because my wedding was over (and as you probably know by now, I really love weddings). The day you imagined for so long, and spent at least the last year of your life planning is all of a sudden OVER. Now your other girlfriends are celebrating their engagements and you're not "the bride" anymore. The droves of friends and family that were suffocating you all went home and it's finally just you and your new husband. But you keep reflecting on your wedding, was it what you had hoped it to be? Did your details dazzle??

Getting married is a BIG DEAL! Don't let anyone tell you it's not. Regardless of whether or not you and your honey have lived together, getting married is a big life change for any woman. Hence the reason we all feel the need to throw a lavish party. You need to celebrate this life change!

EVEN BARBIE NEEDED A LITTLE GUIDANCE

Sheryl Paul is a bridal counselor (who knew there was such a thing!) and the author of The Conscious Bride. Sheryl sums it up best when she says:

"...it has become something of a taboo in our culture to utter the words "grief" and "wedding" in the same breath. Yet how could grief and fear not be a part of this transition?! We have the bride and groom letting go of their singlehood and stepping into one of the biggest commitments of their lives; we have the mothers of the bride and groom letting go of their "little ones" and possibly facing their own disappointments about their wedding or marriage; and we have girlfriends freaking out about panty hose color when really they're scared about losing, at least temporarily, their lifelong friend. In short, a wedding, as the rite of passage that it is, involves a loss and a gain, a death and a birth, an ending and a beginning."

This book is a must read for all brides to be. It will really help you to understand that you are going through a big life change and that everyone around you is affected by your transition as well. This book will give you a lot of perspective and you'll finally realize why the little things, like the perfect shade of red for your bridesmaid dresses, are so darn important to you!

Bridal Advice:

Pick up a book that is going to nurture your bridal heart. It doesn't have to be this book, although I really do recommend it. As an expert wedding planner, the most important part of my job is helping my clients plan each detail of their wedding so that the climax of their emotional journey is truly the celebration that they deserve it to be.

Love and Bridal Bliss,

Ciara Daykin

Additional Wedding Reading Sites
http://www.merrybrides.livejournal.com
http://www.funweddings.blogspot.com
http://www.merrybrides.blog.com


Ciara Daykin is Calgary's premiere Wedding Choreographer. Brides wanting a dazzling, dashing, dream-filled wedding turn to Ciara for all their wedding planning needs. Ciara is a proud member of the Association of Bridal Consultants.
Sign up for Tips & Tricks for the Vibrant & Stylish Bride and Party Host at: http://www.fireflyoccasions.com/
Email: info@fireflyoccasions.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ciara_Daykin

Interfaith Marriage - How to Plan an Interfaith Wedding Ceremony

By Cori Locklin

Let’s face it – the world just isn’t as big as it used to be. As a testament to the earth’s seemingly shrinking waistline, more and more young men and women are finding true love outside their faith – and making it work. Yet no matter how progressive you and your families may be, the peaceful merging of two religions can prove an ambitious undertaking. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that love is the end goal, and get ready to celebrate a marriage made in heaven, er, make that two heavens.

Interfaith wedding ceremonies pose a few planning challenges. Here is some advice to get you started:

Do Some Soul Searching - If you’ve been neglecting your spiritual side, it’s time to get reacquainted. Assess your beliefs and the role you see them playing in your life. How important to you is it that your wedding ceremony reflects your religious background? How willing are you to compromise for your fiancé’s beliefs or family? Know your personal stance on faith and religion, so you can speak candidly with your fiancé and your families and make decisions accordingly.

Talk it Over - After you’ve come to terms with your own spirituality, you and your fiancé need to have an honest discussion about religion. Although you should have broached the topic at some point during your relationship, now a wedding ceremony and marriage loom, adding a sense of urgency. During your internal reflection, you may have discovered your own views altering a bit, and he may feel the same. Discuss together your values, and identify what traditions are most meaningful for each of you to incorporate into your wedding ceremony and marriage.

Invite the Families - Combining two sets of traditions while keeping the peace with both families can be tricky. Invite both sides to listen to your ideas and contribute their expectations for your wedding day. You’d be surprised how an honest group discussion can bring about solutions once deemed elusive. As the happy couple, you and your fiancé should be prepared to discuss openly your choices, but you should also be receptive to their viewpoints. Be honest, open and supportive, and make sure that your ceremony plans are agreeable (or at least livable) for everyone.

Get the Right Officiant(s) - While many officiants do not perform interfaith weddings – or only do so with restrictions – just as many specialize in interfaith wedding ceremonies. If either of you has a relationship with the clergy at your respective place of worship, consult with that him or her first. Even if your clergy is unable to perform the service, he or she should be able to evaluate your situation with an open mind and make suggestions and recommendations. Many religious and interfaith organizations maintain lists of clergy who will officiate at interfaith ceremonies. You will also find a valuable resource in your local newspaper’s wedding announcements. Search for the names of officiants who have conducted interfaith ceremonies.

Get Counseled - Counseling sessions, often recommended before a wedding regardless of the couple’s religion, offer a good opportunity for a bride and groom to not only learn about the other's faith, but also to consider ways to merge traditions or celebrations during the ceremony. Since religion won’t disappear after your wedding day, counseling sessions also offer insight to other situations that may arise in your marriage, including raising children.

Plan a Fusion Ceremony - Consult your officiant(s) and families for advice in designing a ceremony that incorporates both faiths and cultures. Determine which customs are personally significant, and select rituals and readings together. Continue this blending of cultures into the reception, and design a menu of personalized fusion cuisine – think egg rolls with a side of Spanakopita.

Reassure the Family - As your wedding plans unfold, remember to pause from time to time and check in with your families, especially if the news of an interfaith wedding was an initial shock for either side. Continue to keep them involved and informed throughout the planning process. Spend quality time together, and if logistics allow, plan some group get-togethers.

Reassure Yourselves - Along those lines – don’t forget to reassure each other along the way, as uncertainty can creep in with potential roadblocks and planning challenges. Don’t stress that you’re losing your religion, because your not. Remember to always keep the focus on the marriage of two people in love, and rejoice that you now have two great traditions from which to draw your spiritual inspiration. Delight in a spiritually rich life and future to come!

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Useful Links:

Dream Honeymoons; Destination Weddings!

Top 10 Vacation Destinations!

Great Honeymoon Cruise Deals

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More Great Wedding Advice

Fun Weddings
Merry Brides
Ashlee Weddings
Wedding Journal

For more ideas and inspiration for your wedding ceremony, visit Elegala.com's complete wedding ceremony planning guide. Cori Locklin is editor-in-chief for Elegala.com and Elegala Magazine. Elegala is a new wedding planning resource offering the most comprehensive portfolio of superior wedding reception sites and wedding services, along with planning tips, photo galleries and checklists to keep brides in-the-know on today's wedding trends and styles. For a complete guide to creating an elegant and memorable wedding celebration, visit Elegala.com, your ultimate wedding planning resource. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Cori_Locklin

How to Calm Wedding Jitters

(MS) - The work involved with planning a wedding can stress out even the most stable of individuals. Even those brides-to-be who knew all the reasons why they were getting married a few months ago may be facing the prospect of walking down the aisle with anxiety.

Call it cold feet or wedding jitters, the feeling is common among newlyweds-to-be. Stress has a funny way of making mountains out of molehills - little idiosyncracies in a partner can quickly grow into horrible character traits. The key is recognizing when fears are just the result of too much planning and not deep-rooted relationship issues. Usually a person quickly realizes they're more overwhelmed about the wedding details than the thought of making a commitment.

"The What-If Guy," by Taylor G. Wilshire has messages of love, forgiveness and affirmation at its roots, which can offer help at this important time in your life. It also provides an entertaining story that gives you a chance to kick back and escape.

1. Put your thoughts onto paper - Make a list of what is causing the most anxiety. This release technique is something main character Ryley McKenna used in the book to clear her fears and prevent overworrying. Sometimes having all of your racing thoughts organized and on paper can help you rationally address the issues and see that there is no serious cause of the jitters. It can also help you pinpoint a common stress trigger, such as a financial concern or a conflict with a family member. Compare these fears to a list of reasons why you love your partner and want to enter a commitment with this person. This simple task can bring order to jumbled feelings and offer clarity on any nervousness you may have.

2. Learn to relax - Make time for yourself and enjoy activities that are not directly related to wedding planning. For example, some women benefit from a massage or facial treatment. Others find that a relaxing drive or walk along the beach or through another quiet area can help promote calmness. Or take a cue from Ryley and learn to relax by meditating to put your mind at peace: Find a quiet place and focus on deep breathing.

3. Talk to your partner - Open up to your partner about how you are feeling. You just may find that he is experiencing some of the same things as you and that jitters are completely normal. Working through fears to a place of love is one of the underlying concepts of "A Course in Miracles," the inspirational text that helps guide Ryley throughout the book. By expressing your fears and doubts, and working through them as a team, this can be the first step you take as a married couple to support each other in good times ... and bad.

4. Recognize that changes understandably make people uncomfortable - One of the most life-altering changes a person can make is getting married, particularly if you've both been used to living on your own and making your own decisions. Instead of focusing on what you could be losing by getting married, reaffirm all of the things you will be gaining. It may help to talk to married couples who have been successful in keeping their relationships strong. Remember though, your relationship is unique to you as a couple. So don't be sidetracked over what could or may happen.

5. Keep in mind that love is most important - While you want the weather to cooperate and the day to be flawless, you cannot control the outcome of everything when getting married. There may be some minor (or major) bumps along the way. Being able to recover gracefully and enjoy yourself can help start your relationship off on the right foot. Remember, you'll have many other chances to create winning memories as you grow old together with your partner, so don't put so much emphasis on the wedding details or the most important moments may pass you by. For further inspiration, see the ways Ryley overcomes challenges to find her path to true love in "The What if Guy."

Add "The What-If Guy" to your bridal shower wish list to provide some much-needed salvation during this wonderful, but often stressful time.